Gif of the Minute #5 - Ehhhh

This is a gif of my second favourite David, Larry David, exhibiting an expression I know only too well; one of sheer "Ehhh, uhhh, bleghhh". It's such a relatable image, it's something everyone's felt at some point, but it's a feeling no one can really place.

Can't even describe it justice, just look at it.

Gif of the Minute #4 - As You Wish

Is there really a gif that wets panties more than this one? Doubtful. I don't think any movie has set girls up for disappointment as much as a Princess Bride has. No man can be a Dread Pirate Roberts, not even if they're Somalian. And no guy can get that kind of hair on a consistent basis, trust me, I've tried. Hard. My ex-girlfriend(s) were all into this movie, and I can tell you right now, they were all left disappointed.

Am I right, Criz?

Gif of the Minute #3 - OVARIES

As a man I can't directly relate to this gif, but I certainly feel it's reprecussions. I'm the guy behind the camera here, being blasted wby the consequences of nature's monthly gift. On that note, I don't like when women refer to their periods as a 'gift'. Sarcasm isn't going to make your flow any lighter, sweetie. I'd never say this to a woman on her period though, I value my manhood far too much.

My manhood is all I've got.

Gif of the Minute #2 - Spring

Ahh, yes, spring is in the air. Well, summer, technically, but everybody still remembers spring. Kind of. Spring's one of those seasons that goes by without anybody noticing. It's rainy, windy, and the trees aren't very pretty yet. People often confuse spring and summer, though this gif represents what people BELIEVE spring to be, not what it actually is.

People are dumb, this gif is beautiful.

Gif of the Minute #1 - Britches

I feel as though this gif, originally taken from 'Flight of the Conchords', shows in vague terms the importance of fashion in today's pop culture. Jermaine, the dancing man, is exhibiting his 'britches' with a vigor only seen in KE$HA videos and my bedroom. The pants are clearly ridiculous, and no 'bitches' would be checking them out. Satire at its finest.

Delicious, delicious satire.

The Stand-Up Begins

So I've been working on a secret writing project for a little while now, and the fruits of my labours have revealed themselves.

On Sunday I did an open mic at The Cavern; my first stand-up show. My first foray into the world of comedy. It was pretty cool.

When I was writing my material I had no clue if anything would get a laugh or not. Sure, I thought some of it was funny, but I was totally clueless. The most magical part of the night was seeing people actually laugh at the dumb things I had to say (they really were dumb)

I was nervous, I spoke too quickly, and my hair could have been better, but for my first time on stage I think I did pretty well. I met some really cool, really hilarious comics there, and hey, I'll be back next week.

Here's the video for those interested:
 (Note: May not be school appropriate. At all)

My Buried Life

So I wasn't sure what to expect with this project. At all. I'd committed to doing something cool, but I wasn't sure if I would actually get anything out of it (other than a high mark (?) ). Shooting was hectic, editing was chaotic, and I can't even begin to describe the technical issues I went through. Overall though, I have to say I'm pretty proud of the results. An extra coupe days to tune it up would have been nice, but hey, without deadlines nothing would get done.

Now, the video:

The Bucket List

No crazy intro here, let's just get to it.

1. Become a Professional Stand-Up Comedian
2. Commit
3. Make a Documentary
4. Spend a Week in a Tuscan Villa
5. Have a Daughter
6. Become a Better Editor
7. [Redacted Due to Language]
8. Own a Dope Set of Plate Armor
9. Learn Another Language
10. Learn to Bend a Note on the Harmonica
11. Get Fit
12. See My Brother Graduate
13. Go to an Okkervil River Show
14. Shake Joe Rogan's Hand
15. Buy My Own Kitten
16. Write a Critically Acclaimed Book
17. Make My Dad Laugh
18. Run a Successful Podcast
19. Go to a Death Grips Show on [Redacted Due to Drug Use]
20. Earn as Much as A Respected Long Island Dentist
21. Live Somewhere With a View
22. Apologize
23. Learn a Martial Art
24. Write Something Beautiful
25. Have Someone Famous Approach Me First
26. Learn more Than 6 Chords
27. Make a Total Stranger Smile
28. Take My Kids to Disney World
29. Embrace My Inner Artist
30. Learn to Drive
31. Become a Man of Certainty
32. Learn to Dance
33. Say "I Love You" and Mean It
34. Run a Marathon
35. Learn to Ride a Bike
36. Learn to Scuba
37. Perfect My Smile
38. Speak at a TED Talk
39. Learn to Make More Than Just Kraft Dinner
40. Learn to Sail
41. Catch a Fish Bigger Than Me
42. Sing a Song With Passion
43. Survive a Week Alone in a Forest
44. Have a Sweeping Romance
45. Buy My Parents a House
46. Do Something Worth Writing an Autobiography About
47. Write an Autobiography
48. Create a Viral Video
49. Write a TV Series
50. Make Fart Noises in Front of an Entire Class

Reading/Writing Reflection #10

Reading Reflection:

"Reading's been non-existent this week; lent Brose my Kobo, so I essentially gave him my whole library. #techblues"

"I still need something new to read though."

Writing Reflection:

"Buried Life project has been going super well though; pre-production on a shortie short type film."

Writing Reflection #9

All has been well in writing land recently; tweeting is going better than expected, and the 'Before I Die' list is surprisingly fun. I'm really enjoying the twitter integration so far; it's given me good reason to get back into tweeting. A couple years ago, back in the podcast days, my Twitter account was HEAVY. 250+ followers, constant discussion...it was a good time. I was pretty bummed when Twitter went out of style in my circle; I found it to be a totally useful and awesome thing, but it's much less awesome when you have no one to talk to. I have lots of people to talk to now, and hopefully that’ll resurrect whatever twitter energy I once had.

As for the buried life business, even that’s been enjoyable. It’s harder than I thought it’d be to come up with 50+ things I want to do before I die, way harder. I’m trying to avoid lame clichés like “Travel to Europe” and “Fall in love”, which just makes it that much harder. I’ve always dreamed about having an amazing life, but I’ve yet to set up a plan. I guess this is a good first step. Baby steps, yo.

Baby steps.

Blackout in Poetryville

Reading/Writing Response #6

Reading/Writing Reflection #6

Reading Reflection:

            As Retribution Falls comes to a close I start to realize that man, man, maaaaan this is an awesome book. It’s the kind of book that goes down smooth, is easy to digest and doesn’t leave any messy leftovers: the perfect snack. Sure, there were times where a little more detail would be nice, but Wooding justifies the lack of detail by prefacing the ship as a place where people’s pasts don’t matter, and it really makes the few details revealed that much more impactful. There are a few characters in particular who I’d love to read a trilogy of spin off books on, but that interest is only there because Wooding left so much ‘up in the air’ (it’s funny ‘because the book takes place in an airship LOL).

            I’m now struggling with my usual issue when finishing a book: I Don’t Want It To End-it is. I get attached to the worlds created by the author, and, well, I usually don’t want to leave them. I guess it’s kind of extreme escapism, and that can’t be healthy. The first three quarters of books I read can usually be finished in 2-3 weeks, but that last quarter often times takes twice than unless I know I have another book to jump onto. I managed to crank out almost all the Song of Ice and Fire books in one summer, but I’ve still got the last third of Dance with Dragons to finish. Le sigh. That’ll most likely be my next reading project.

            Be excited!

Writing Reflection:

            Fashion Show. Oh man. This might have been one of the most intensive writing experiences of my short lifetime. Crunching out 2700+ words of golden dialogue in less than a week, well, that was something else. It was stressful and scary, but man, I could not be happier with the product. It was a good collaborative exercise as well; I found writing with Brendan and Joel to go way quicker than just writing by myself, though we did get less done that way. I could crank out page after page of script on my own no problem, but I didn’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of. There are pros and cons to both styles, but I found writing funny a lot easier in a group.

            Yeah. So that writing has been taking up about all of my writing efforts, and that’s sadly the only subject I can speak of, writing-wise at least. I might do a separate “Fashion Show” blog post. We’ll see.

Reading/Writing Reflection #5

Reading Reflection:

Book: Retribution Falls

Author: Chris Wooding

Pages Read: 180 – 249

            This book has won me over. Completely. I had a few hours of reading time over the long weekend, and I couldn’t have spent it with a better book. It’s really hard to express why I enjoy this book so much, the one thing that keeps coming to mind is; “THAT JUST HAPPENED!?” . Retribution Falls specializes in jaw dropping moments, whether it be through insane character twists, nail-biting action sequences, or even just really good poker analogies. I’m constantly on edge, and not the “Okay, let’s get this over with” on edge I experienced in Metro 2033, but one where I am legitimately curious to see how things pan out. Wooding is really good at making me care.

            What I care most about has to be the characters. Wooding does a usually awesome, sometimes disorienting, constant POV movement between all the characters aboard the Ketty Jay. You get insight into everyone, so it doesn’t feel like someone is ‘just there’; they’re all there for their own separate reasons, each with their own motivations. The POV switches are usually quite fluid, but there was one firefight that had 4+ POV switches in the span of a couple pages. That was a little disorienting. This can be forgiven though, because if Wooding feels the need to switch to a character mid head scratch there’s often a good reason. I suppose the writing style adds to the hectic nature of the plot, I just wish my head could keep up with my hands; it’s a real page turner.

Writing Reflection:

            Writing’s been very ehh lately. I’m getting some serious ‘Moment’ fatigue, and I’m ready for something new. Am I ready for fan fiction? Maybe not; I don’t have very positive connotations with the genre. Speaking personally here, fan fiction brings to mind preteen girls writing slash-fic about Harry and Ron, a very basic, kind of gross writing format. I’d rather write my own stories than work off someone else’s. Sure, I could probably write a few pages about Brienne of Tarth’s schooling misadventures, but I’d just be doing the original author an injustice, soiling Martin’s beautiful universe with my own undeveloped writing, a crime I’m not willing to commit.

Reading/Writing Reflection #4

Reading Reflection:

                Retribution Falls is opening up quite nicely. It’s such a breath of fresh air from the dank world of Metro 2033, not only in setting but in writing style. The characters are deep, but not 25 pages of exposition deep; most character development is actually done through a multitude of POVs, ranging from the protagonist Darian Frey, to the Ketty Jay’s drunken doctor, and even the ship’s cat. It really is quite entertaining.  Retribution Falls is also paced much better than Metro was; chapters are manageably long, there are twists and plot turns that don’t take centuries of pages to develop, and the author isn’t bound by any real framework. In Metro, the story was entirely Artyom’s journey, every last second of it. Retribution Falls is much, much looser. It’s about a band of sky adventurers who kind of have a goal, but it’s nothing set in stone, and never predictable. The opening twist of the book had my mouth agape for what felt like hours.  I don’t want it to sound like I didn’t like Metro, though.

                The two books are very different. Retribution is an adventure, while Metro is a trip. They each have their own ups and downs and give out their own completely opposite moods. I don’t feel defeated every time I pick up Retribution, but there’s a certain enjoyment that went with carrying the weight of Artyom’s travels. I’m glad I read Metro 2033, really I am, but I’m way more glad I picked up Retribution Falls after.

It’s like a reading vacation.

Writing Reflection:

                The writing’s been going alright, not awesome, but alright. I finished my Moment draft, despite the difficulty of it. I don’t know why it was so hard; maybe it was the shameful subject, or maybe I’m just not in the mood to write about myself (most likely the latter). This is a really polarizing piece for me. It doesn’t seem that long, but I ended up with an 1100+ word-count, and it still doesn’t feel like enough! There’s detail I have that I can’t properly articulate, which is something I’m really not used to. My biggest concern for my moment is that I come across too much as a terrible person, and that people won’t be able to relate to it because of that. It’s not a moment that makes me look good, but it’s a moment that was important to me, a moment of change.

I just hope that comes across in my writing. Le sigh.